Sunday, February 19, 2017

Whatever it Takes

I haven't written a blog in a looooooong time, since September.  Truthfully, you get used to the wacky life you live here, and how many times can you write about the lunacy of driving in Israel?

Well, today I had to make the dreaded Phone Call to an Israeli Company And Figure Out Their Phone Menu.

This is beyond human endurance.

Here's how it went:

First, let us say that my husband is in America, so I had to handle this by myself.

Now, let's continue.  A friendly neighbor discovered a drip on the water filter that is attached to the main water pipe bringing water into the house.

It is Friday afternoon.  No one has been at any office in the entire country since Thursday at noon.

So I wedged a bucket under the drip and looked at the offending piece of machinery.  Guess what, it had a phone number on it!  That must be for emergencies!

So I ran upstairs and made a phone call.

I get a voice message.  It tells me to call another number, but the number is said so fast I can't get it.
I call again to listen again.  Maybe it's not telling me to do that at all?  Maybe it's telling me to do something else?

So I go on their website, which is entirely in Hebrew.  I see the famous צור קשר which I know means their contact info.

Yay!  They have whatsapp!  and Email!!!!  So I send both a whtsapp and an email.  AND they offer a special number - special means emergencies, right?  I call that too.

I get an email - telling me that they got my email.

I get a whatsapp - telling me that they got my whatsapp.

I can't even understand what the phone menu tells me to do.

Time runs out, it's Shabbat so I keep checking the bucket and it it seems to be a very slow drip.

OK, here it is Sunday.  I get a whatsapp asking me questions!  In Hebrew!  I use Google translate and hopefully say "The water filter is dripping" and not "I have the sniffles in my water closet" - the word for a drip is נזילה and the word for the sniffles is נוזלת - see how hard it is??

All day Sunday I wait to hear from them.  Nuttin.  Of course as all olim know, the phrase "we will get back to you" means "we will NEVER get back to you and you will have to bug us incessantly and then we will get mad at you but that's the only way to get service."

Finally I give up and pull out the contract information.  There is yet another phone number and I get a person!

Uh oh.

Guess what language he does not speak.

OK, here goes - I tell him that there is a drip in the appliance (had to look that one up and practice it) that is on the main water pipe (same) coming into the house.

Then he goes into some conversation with me about things.  He mentions numbers, he says things, he has the word "shekel" in there a couple of times.

Finally he says something about "which day, Wednesday or Thursday"?  I think, ooh now we're getting somewhere.  I pick Wednesday.  After other words he mentions hours.  I pick between 9-12.

I write this down.  I say, "OK, then the technician is coming on Wednesday between 9 and 12."

But, God help me, he keeps talking, and I hear shekel and I hear other words I don't know.

I figure at some point I have to say yes to something.  So I say yes, because I'm so relieved he is coming to fix the drip I don't care.  He mentions 55 shekel.  That doesn't sound like a lot, does it? Hmm, I think, is that per week.....per month.....?  Whatever, remember he is coming to fix the drip.

Then he asks me how I like the water bar they sold us.  I say I love it but we can't use it on Shabbat.  He says, "You didn't ask for a Shabbat feature."  But this is a re-hash of an earlier argument with them and I am in no mood to get on the wrong side of this guy.  I'll give him whatever he wants, just come here.

He then takes my address, and other information, and asks me for a credit card number.

Uh oh.

Why would he need that unless I just bought something?

I'll find out on Wednesday.  Between 9 and 12.


  1. Way to go MOMZ!
    All by yourself in Hebrew.

    But I hope it doesn't mean that we just sold our apartment for 55 NIS

  2. Oh dear, the one thing I was looking forward to most after Ulpan finishes is being able to understand the pre-recorded audio whenever I call a business :/