Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Bathroom, The Oil, and The Air Conditioner

Sounds like a really cool fantasy novel, right?  You are expecting a magical can of oil and an a/c unit with a Disney-type face on it, talking to each other, becoming friends, and sharing a strand of spaghetti.

Well, you go on and keep thinking like that, and in the meantime I shall tell you my tale of woe.

The builder of our development comes by each year (I think for 7 years from the date we moved in) to see what needs to be fixed.  I have covered this in an earlier blog, regaling you with my attempt to write down exactly what the worker told me to write (he is an Arab who I believe can speak but not write Hebrew well, so I was happy to help) and signing it. (I really should find the old blog and link to it here, but I'm too lazy and you really don't care, do you? Just take my word for it).

So one of the things to fix involved a possible leak in one of our bathrooms - there were water stains on the ceiling over the shower and we wanted him to take a look.

He looks and tells us that (you have probable already guessed this), "It is not our problem. You have to get the a/c people here right away."  He also declares that if there is a water leak, somehow the pipe which goes down the wall and under the bathroom is probably clogged up.  He opens up the access hole and pulls out gunk.  

OK, well at least the gunk is out, although I have no idea what that has to do with the leak, and I don't think anyone else really does either.

He has also, by the way, cut open a square of drywall over the shower to access the problem area.  This area will have to be repaired by him, when the a/c guy finishes his work.

By this time I am alternately crying and laughing, hoping that we understood the Hebrew and not at all certain as to what was happening other than we now had a big hole in our shower ceiling.  See, the whole time I'm just saying my favorite phrase, "B'seder!" and hoping for the best.

So he calls the a/c people for us and "enhances" the situation to make it sound desperate and telling them they should come right away.  We giggle, hearing his little white lie and he looks at us like we are nuts - this is just the way people do business, it's not funny.  We stop laughing.

So the a/c guy comes over, spends a lot of time looking, going onto the roof, etc., and declares that it is not water, it's oil.  Huh.  Oil is for some reason dripping out of a pipe over our shower. Huh.  He declares that he will return in one week.  

I am now wondering if his return will mean that he is fixing the leak.  My husband declares that he [a/c guy] knows where the leak is.  I maintain that he said he does not.  I do not know why he is coming back in a week unless he needs equipment, but we decide to wait and see. There was a lot of fast Hebrew talk in there and we might have missed an important sentence or ten.

Today he came back, right on time!  I think he says, "OK, today I am going to replace the access panel [not the ceiling hole] in your bathroom." 

"OK, I say, about the oil leak?

"I told you, I don't know where that is coming from.  When you turn on the a/c again when it gets warm, maybe it will leak again and then we will see." [Note to self - hahaha I was right!]

I say it over again to him in Hebrew to make sure I got it right.  He replies something that sounds like, "שףגלכחש פם'קןרשףךדגלכשףדךגכלשפ'קםןרשףךגלדכשףדךגכח ךדגלכשףךד"  and I nod and say "b'seder."

Then, when he's done, he "Slicha, G'veret"s me and I go see what he has done.  I look up at where the access panel should be covered.  It is not.  Then he shows me that he has created a HUGE hole and new access panel over the shower, so that he can get to the problem easier next time.

The old access panel is still uncovered.  I ask him to please cover it.  He does, but he is not happy about it.  Seriously, do you mean he didn't see the access panel cover sitting there the whole time???

So yay - now we have two access panels in our bathroom ceiling.  

"Yoo hoo, Architectural Digest?  Could you maybe come back another time?"

But we do have a lovely new access panel now in our bathroom.  Really, it's gorgeous you should come and take a look.  It's white and plastic and everything.  

I'll bet plumbers and HVAC guys everywhere will come to gawk.

So, I give up.  The oil can drip.  Just please don't make me talk to these people anymore.


Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Another Milestone - Self Check Out

I know you are all going to be very proud of me.

Today I used the self checkout at Supersol.  Or, as they call it here, Shoofersal, because they use a פ in the name and....oh, never mind.

Why, you ask?  Why because they had exactly 1 cashier open and the line was way too long for an impatient person like me.  I have things to do!  People to see!  Places to go!

So I marched myself over to the self checkout, which is located right next to the Customer Service (hahahahaha!  wait, I'm picking myself up off the floor) office.

All of the instructions are in Hebrew.

Here is what I THINK I did right.

Put in my identity number so that I could get the requisite discounts.

Here is what I KNOW I did wrong:
- Scanned the mini yogurts wrong: they come 4 to a pack, but had come un-attached in the cart - not sure, but I think they asked me how many I was getting.  I said one because I think they meant how many packages.  So I either got 3 free or paid for 1 extra.  One of those.

- Called my onions potatoes.  Put the onions on the scale thingy - pushed the "yirakot" button (yay me), chose potatoes.  Afterwards realized it was onions.  Didn't want to explain this to the Customer Service (hahahahaha!) person, so just kept going.

- Forgot the word for tomatoes.  Yes, yes, I know that's really dumb.  I mean tomatoes are almost like the national vegetable here, but at the moment of tension and anxiety the word just slipped my mind.  And I had to choose a word by putting in the first letter!  EEEEEK.  So I just chose onions again.

-Paid for my bag of almonds twice, or not at all.  Not really sure what I did here, but  if you think I was going to check my receipt and argue with Customer Service (hahahahaha!), you haven't  been reading my blogs very carefully.

Well, at least I walked out with groceries.  And I paid for some, all, or twice as many of them.