Friday, August 17, 2012

Time, Date, Direction

Full disclosure - I am one of those people who does not know my right from my left.  All I can say is thank goodness for public school in the 1960s - the way I remember my right hand is that that is the hand we would put over our hearts when we said the pledge of allegiance.  See?  There are some good things about having attended Pimlico Elementary School #223.

TIME: So there's one problem.  Another one (I'm full of them, don't get me started, oh I started, never mind) is that I have a little, eensy, weensy problem with time changes.  And this happened to me in stages.  Let me explain, because I know you're anxious to hear more about me and my problems:

1. My daughters moved to Israel - they were now 7 or 8 hours ahead of us.  Every time I looked at my watch I added 7 (or 8) and think,"Oh,  they now [fill in the blank]."

2.  My son moves to Chicago - he is now 1 hour behind us.  Every tine I look at my watch I add 7 (or 8) for the girls and subtract 1 for him.

3.  We move to Israel.  Now we are at the same time as the girls, but 8 hours ahead of Chicago.

4. Israel switches time near Pesach - for a while we are 8 hours ahead of Baltimore, 9 hours ahead of Chicago.  Then Israel switches back.

5. I have a job - great news!  My clients are in California (10 hours from Israel), Alaska (11 hours from Israel), London (2 hours from Israel), East Coast (7 hours).  Help!

6.  I keep an app on my desktop which lets me know what time it is in all of these places.  I look at it constantly. 

7.  I have appointments with people in these various cities - soI  have to figure it out so that I don't make a meeting when either of us is sleeping.

8.  We come to Baltimore for a visit.  Now all my time differences have changed!

9.  I go to Seattle for a cruise - change again!

By this point I just stare at my watch with my jaw hanging open and drool threatening to drip out. 

I have been in a lot of airports in the past couple of weeks.  There is now a sign when you're standing in the security line - it states that "if you were born on or before this date in 1937, you do not have to remove your shoes in the security check."  I stared at that sign for about five minutes.  All I could think of was - Do they change that sign every day?

Basically when I tell my husband to turn right, he asks me which right I am referring to.  So here I am on the ship last week with aft, port, starboard, down, up, around, in, out. One day they say the ship is sailing north.  I stare outside.  If the ship is going north, where is east, west, and south?  For the life of me, with the ship moving one way and the water moving another way, I could not figure it out.

Maybe all of this has to do with getting older.  I mean, I do crossword puzzles like crazy to keep my mind sharp as a tack, but I don't think it's working.  Maybe I need more naps. 

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