Thursday, May 8, 2014

I Have No Time for You

The store
Just came back from the home goods store.

We were looking for a bathroom rug.  This was not rocket science NOR was it brain surgery.  It wasn't even a Melissa and Doug puzzle.

We found the bathroom rug section.  There was a man sitting there, feet up, talking on his phone or playing Candy Crush (PERSONAL NOTE: I'm on level 364 by the way, people, so nah nah nah boo boo).

We looked around and were discussing the options:

1. This ugly color
2. That ugly color

Suddenly we hear a voice, "Yachol laazor lachem"?  [Can I help you?].

Now please note.  Said person:
1. Had not arisen from his chair
2. Had not even lowered his feet from their resting position
3. Was still looking at his phone.

We declared ourselves non-needing of help so he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.

Then we found a light blue rug that wasn't too gross.  Suddenly we hear a voice, "Which room is this for?"
"The bathroom," we say.  He nods and goes back to his phone, his daily requirement of customer service at its end.

Then we decide to get rugs for our room.  "Which room are they for?" he asks.  "The bedroom."  Another nod.  Uh oh!  He's over his quota of customer service!  He probably should just go home now!

Then I decide to ask a question, "Do you have something to put under the rug so that it doesn't slide around?" And believe me I had no idea how to say that in Hebrew, most of it was said in smoke signals.

"Yes," he says, "you need something."
I look at him hopefully (read stupidly), figuring he'd now show us where to purchase said something.

"We don't have it."

Huh.  Guess the conversation is over because he went back to his phone.  Impressively, he had not changed position during this exchange, his feet were still propped up on a pile of rugs, which thankfully we were not looking at, because that would have caused a cosmic shift.

The marketing phone call:
Got a call yesterday, with someone speakingreallyfastHebrew.  I caught the word "Hyundai" - whew!  Unless it means something else in which case she could have been selling hair salon equipment and I wouldn't have known.

When she took a breath, I told her we don't have a Hyundai.

She hung up on me.

The other marketing phone call:
I don't know which company this was from, I really don't.
The woman was also speakingreallyfastHebrew.  I asked her to please tell me again more slowly.

She hung up on me.

The service call:
I was calling someone to arrange a service visit.  I asked if someone could speak in English, because what I had to explain was very complicated.  He said, "Sure, no problem, I'll have someone call you right away."  Never heard from them again.

The positive experience!!
Today I called to make a medical appointment.  The woman spoke slowly and clearly (she's probably the cousin of marketing call lady, who warned her about me).  I made the appointment and checked the time again with her just to be sure and she was very patient.

She probably wasn't born here.

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