Friday, September 7, 2012


This post is not about aliyah.  Wait, come back!  Just give me a second of your time for a rant.


Now I love technology, and I am a technology junkie of sorts.  I love new gadgets, figuring out how to use new programs and tools, etc.  I think it's fun and for an old gal I have a kind of knack for it.  Who knows, maybe those years of watching "Captain Kangaroo" and seeing Mr. Green Jeans (it wasn't Green Genes, was it, because that would just be weird) fixing things made an impact.

But during this particular trip (see?  it IS about aliyah, because I came from Israel and I'm going back there) I have just about had it.

1. My dinky cheapo temporary just for America cell phone:  I already told you about Terrell, my DJ.  Well, today I received a call, as follows:

Caller: Hi, this is [unintelligible] - I need your computer password
Me:  What?  Who is this?
Caller:  Well, I can't do anything without your computer password.
Me:  Who are you calling?
Caller:  Francis!
Me:  This is not Francis.
Caller:  Oh, really?  Well this is the number she gave me.
Me:  This is NOT Francis
Caller:  Oh, sorry.
Me:  That's ok, this is a temporary cell phone and probably [at this point he hung up on me before I could regale him with my fascinating tale]

2.  Skype
Every couple of days I receive a call on my Skype phone number and the caller is identified as "maintenance."  

They keep calling and calling and I decline the call every time.  I Googled this and it seems it is indeed some kind of spam calling to confirm your phone number so some other spammer can call you later.

3. Phone Pouch Dialing
My dear husband has a cell phone and a new belt pouch for it. For some reason the belt pouch decides to call the last number he's dialed (usually me) every time he breathes.  Breathe in - ring!  Breathe out - ring!

Yesterday he was at a meeting and must have been sitting funny, because he called me eleven times in the span of 10 minutes.  Shift - ring!  Re-shift - ring!  I kept answering and saying "hello" softly thinking he'd realize what was happening but it didn't happen.

One thing to remember people - if your belt pouch calls someone, they can hear everything you are saying.....

4.  There's Always Something Better
Right before we made aliyah I bought myself a gift of a brand new Kindle Fire - it's Amazon's answer to the iPad.  It was much cheaper (and smaller) than the iPad, but very functional and I love using it.  Living in Israel, it's great to be able to order books and read them immediately. I can also shlep it around and use it in waiting rooms, on the beach, etc.

Yesterday Amazon came out with a NEW Kindle Fire that is bigger than the one I have!  No fair!  I just got mine in January and now I want the new one!  Don't do this to me! 

5.  Cords!  Wires! Remotes!
If you look at the backpack I take on the plane, you'll think I'm planning some kind of government takeover.  I have my computer wire, my phone wire, my Kindle wire, my other phone wire, my camera wire, and a couple of other wires I can't identify but that look too important to throw out.  How is this making our lives simpler?  We were in a hotel last week and I couldn't find the remote - and I also could not for the life of me figure out how to turn the TV off without it.  I left it on when we checked out.

6.  Faster!
Nothing is fast enough anymore.  When I'm waiting for one internet page to load, I HAVE to go look at another because, sheesh, you can't expect me to just wait here for it, can you?  And why should it take so long to load in the first place?  What are we, barbarians? 

7. Email!  Stop!!!
I cannot keep up.  I have several accounts for several different clients and all I seem to do all day is click between Inboxes.  It never, ever, ever, stops. I used to like getting mail....

Well, gotta go.  Terrell is on the line.

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